I Need You
by Mama Bear and Her Cubs
Summary: Can Natalia finally convince Olivia that she needs the older woman just as much as Olivia needs her? Will a terrible crime bring these two women closer together or will it destroy them? Can love win out? First GL story.
1. Prelude

**TITLE: **_I Need You _

**SUMMARY: **_Olivia needs Natalia in more ways then Natalia could ever dream of. Can Olivia finally give into her deepest emotions and confess her love for her soul mate? Or will she run as she had in the past? Can Natalia fight and find a way to finally get Olivia to know that she needs her just as much? Will a terrible crime destroy both women or will it bring them ever more closely together?  
_

_This is set just after Olivia's 'death' at Company in October, '08. I had moved Natalia selling Gus's house to protect Rafe up by a week or two. _

**CATEGORY: **_Friendship/ Family/ Romance/ Drama/ Suspense/ Crime/ Tragedy/ Spiritual_

**RATING: **_T_

**PRELUDE**

"I _need_ you." Olivia stared into Natalia's eyes.

"I know. I'm here." Natalia said with smile. Her hand reached over, and lightly brushed the older woman's hair aside.

"I _need _you." Olivia whispered as she closed her eyes and pulled away. She tried to get her emotions under control. She couldn't allow the younger woman to realize the truth. If Natalia ever got a hint of her true feelings towards her – her love for her – then the young Italian woman would run away from her. She would lose the only true friend she ever had since Buzz. Even Buzz wasn't her friend until they became lovers.

"Olivia." Natalia said with unsureness in her voice. "Olivia!" Her hand was all ready on her cell phone to call the ambulance.

"Don't." Olivia said sill with her eyes closed. "It's not Gus's heart."

"Then what is it?" Natalia asked sitting down next to her best friend on the end of the bed. "Talk to me, Olivia, please." She whispered the last as she laid her head on the older woman's shoulder. Her brown eyes were upturned waiting for the emerald eyes to open once more.

"I _need_ you." Olivia whispered.

"I'm here." Natalia said lifting her hand to lightly trace the older woman's jaw line. "I'm right here."

Olivia's eyes opened, and she stared into the open brown eyes of her soul mate. So opened, and so ripe for the truth. Her soul cried out for her to just tell the truth. To just state her love for this beautiful creature next her. She read the trust in the brown eyes.

She knew she couldn't destroy that trust. She turned her eyes away from the brown ones. Missing the disappointment, and sadness in them at her action. She pulled away from the moment, and away from the touch of the younger woman. She couldn't handle the touch. Because she knew she would break if she did. She would die if she destroyed this woman whom had stolen her heart and soul.

_Gus's heart_. Olivia stood to her feet, and walked across the suit to stand by the double doors that led to the living area. Towards where Emma's bedroom was located. It was Gus's heart that drew Natalia to her. Only Gus's heart. After all when Gus was still alive; Natalia hated her. Natalia despised her. Now that Gus is dead and his heart is inside her chest, keeping her alive – Natalia wants be to close to it. In order to do that, Natalia has too fight down her loathing of her to be near her dead husband's, her dead soul mate's heart.

"Olivia." Natalia softly said as she watched Olivia stiffen up against the door. "Don't do this." She forcefully said as she stood to her feet. She walked the few feet that separated them. Reaching out, and laying a hand on her friend's which was resting on her hip.

Olivia jerked back from the touch, her elbow slamming against the door. Unbidden tears rose and rolled down her cheeks. She quickly moved into the living space – out of her bedroom. Away from the bed that made her want to do things to the younger woman. Things that she would never be able to make reality. "You need to leave." She said in a forceful voice. "Now."

"I can't leave you like this." Natalia said shaking her head. She was hurt by Olivia's reaction when she touched her. Hurt to the core. She wasn't going to leave her friend whom so desperately needed her.

Fire leaped into emerald eyes, "I'm ordering you out of here, Natalia. So do as you are told bitch, and leave my home now."

"You call this _home_! This is a hotel _room_, Olivia Spencer. A room in a hotel. Not a home." Anger rose easily up into Natalia's system as she once more started to fight with Olivia. She sighed inwardly, _Why can't we ever have a normal conversion? Why does most of our time around each other end up with us screaming at each other? Why is yelling so much easier than just being calm and rational? _

"Do I insult where you live? Frankie's room at the "Boarding house" above Company? At least I _own_ the hotel where I call home!" Olivia's voice rose even higher. "You are to damn afraid to _own_ your own home. A house that is just waiting for you to buy!"

"I _did_ own my own house. Gus's house which he bought for _his_ family. Then you _bought _it from underneath me!" Natalia forced the tears from spilling. She fought them back as she glared into the fire blazing eyes of the hurt woman in front of her. She knew that this was just a ploy to distract her from the **real** reason why Olivia was upset.

"I gave you the house back." Olivia shrugged.

"I _bought _it back." Natalia's head lifted proudly.

"I _gave_ it back." Olivia gloated. "I put the money in a trust fund for you and Rafe."

"W-w-what?" Natalia breathed out.

"Nothing." Olivia seethed. "Forget it."

Natalia quickly moved closer, and grabbed the older woman's right shoulder. She held on firmly as Olivia tried to jerk away. "Not this time, Olivia." She seethed. She looked into Olivia's green eyes and tried to get past the blockage that Olivia was trying to put in her way. "Damn it, stop it." She growled lowly.

"Let me go." Olivia twisted to get away from Natalia's touch, but the younger woman just held on stronger. Very quickly her other hand was on her other shoulder. She tried to planet her feet on the black and white checked floor – to prevent the younger woman from pulling her closer. "Please just let me go."

"No." Natalia whispered; her mouth close to Olivia's right ear. "Stop fighting this, Olivia. Just stop fighting all ready."

Olivia tried desperately to struggle out of Natalia's grasp, but every twist and turn were met. She could feel the firm round breasts of the younger woman against her own. She could feel the slow, and steady heartbeat against her own erratic one. She could feel the hot breath on her skin, and she just wanted to melt. But, she had to firmly remind herself why Natalia was hugging her so close to her. Why Natalia was pleading with her to quite fighting. Why Natalia was so willing to holding her tightly against her.

It was all due to Gus's heart. Not because of her soul. It was Gus's heart that drew Natalia too her. It would never be her soul.

Tears welled up even more in her eyes. "Please," Olivia whimpered in Natalia's ear as she stopped struggling. "Just let me go."

Natalia pulled away on the intent on fighting Olivia. But Olivia's emerald eyes spoke more volume on how truly fragile, and broken this woman was whom was in her arms. Her hands slid up strong and firm arms to the sides of a swan like neck. "You _need _me." She softly said, "But, I _need_ you also."

Olivia chocked, "You _need_ me to remain alive, to keep Gus's heart beating." She pushed herself out of Natalia's slacked arms. She moved backwards away from the younger woman. "That's fine with me, Natalia. Truly that's fine with me."

"I _need_ you to remain alive because of whom you are." Natalia cried out in a passionate voice. "I _need_ you to remain for Emma, Ava, Buzz. I _need_ you to remain alive for me."

"You need me to remain alive for you because of Gus." Olivia said in toneless. Defeat in her eyes. "Like I said, I'm fine with that." Her hand rose to her chest where her heart – sorry Gus's heart was located. "You shouldn't have given Gus's heart to me, Natalia. You should have picked someone more deserving, more -"

Tears rolled freely down Natalia's cheeks, "Stop Olivia!" She screamed. "Just stop now!"

"Why?" Olivia demanded in a hard voice. "Aren't you the one whom is forever telling me to tell the truth." A warn smile came to her full lips, "Well, we both know that the only reason why you are around me is because of Gus's heart. Without that you wouldn't be here with me. Not willing. Not otherwise." Her heart hurt even worse with these words. She wanted to reach up and rub it – but she wasn't going to give Natalia that excuses to stay.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Natalia said moving forward. But one tortured look from Olivia and she stopped. "You are so impossible at times, Olivia Spencer." She shook her head as she stared at the fragile older woman in front of her. "How can I get through all those protective layers that you had put up so longer ago?"

"I don't need you here anymore. Please leave." Olivia begged. She fought to get her voice under control once more. "Go and live your life."

"I don't think wise for me to leave you like this." Natalia sighed. "But, I can tell you aren't truly up for a good long fight." She eyed Olivia's chest before lifting her eyes once more. "You have to promise me that you are going to get the rest you need. Also if you need me call me."

"I always call you when I need you." Olivia whispered. "Always." She cleared her throat. "I pay you to take care of me after all."

Natalia blinked as she wanted to break in and fight that statement. "You are impossible. How can I break through – when your worst enemy truly is yourself." She moved passed the older woman to the door. Turning, "I do _need_ you, just as much as you _need_ me. _Not_ because of Gus's heart. I'll prove it to you once and for all, Olivia Spencer." She left the suit.

Olivia just blinked as the door clicked shut. "Natalia," She sighed softly, "you'll never _need_ me as much as I _need_ you." Her hand rose and felt her chest and knew by the skips that her heart was begging her to allow it to rest. She wished she could finally allow it to rest – but how can she when she knew she could never give it what it truly wanted. Natalia's love.

**END OF PRELUDE**


	2. Ghostly Visit

**CHAPTER ONE**

**GHOSTLY VISIT**

**COMPANY**

Natalia looked through the window into the restaurant and sighed. She didn't want to deal with anyone today. Not now. Not after the confrontation she had with Olivia. Her hand rose and pressed against her hot forehead. _Why did things have to be so dramatic with Olivia Spencer! Why can't things just be simple. Why can't things be calm and peaceful._

"Natalia?" Buzz said in a soft voice. He had noticed the young woman looking in the window with such sadness. He felt such compassion for this woman in front of him. Compassion that he hadn't felt for another woman since Olivia.

Natalia's hand lowered as her eyes opened, "Buzz, I'm sorry but I'm not up for my shift." She sighed a deep sigh, "I'm sorry to do this at last minute. But, I just can't deal with being around people today is all."

"Don't worry about it." Buzz said. "I can get Daisy to cover it." His head tilted, "Olivia got to you, didn't she?"

"No!" Natalia said quickly. She saw the knowledge in his eyes, and knew that he could read her like a book. "It wasn't a fight. I mean Olivia was just being Olivia. Typical stuff."

"No this isn't typical." Buzz walked beside her as she moved to the stairs that led up to the boarding house. "You wouldn't be so depressed if she had gone off on her normal rants."

Natalia turned around, and leaned against the railing, "How close are you and Olivia? Really?"

"We are close friends." Buzz said his right foot step on the second to bottom of the stairs.

"There's more than that between you two." Natalia frowned. "I know you two were headed to the alter." She saw him stiffen up. "I know that she left you at the alter."

"I'm not going to trash Olivia to you, just to make you feel better." Buzz said in a hard voice. "Olivia and my history is that. History. It is ours. I regret some parts of it. But, I _don't_ regret spending any of it with her."

Natalia reached out and touched his right cheek. "Buzz, I never meant to get your back raised up. I just wanted to know _how_ you broke through Olivia's defense mechanisms that she had strongly cemented around her soul?" A single tear rolled down her cheeks. "Right when I think I manage to get through to her – she kicks me right back out." Her teeth grounded.

"You just have too keep fighting." Buzz said in a soft voice. "You just have to keep proving your sincere love for her. Olivia has been building up that wall around her soul brick by brick since she was just a child. Truly the only one whom crashed through it with just a teeny finger tip was -"

"Emma." Natalia said with a small smile. She felt her head begin to pound once more. "I'm sorry again for leaving you in the lurch again, Buzz. But, I just need to be by myself right now."

"Of course, dear." Buzz stepped aside to watch the younger woman walk up towards the boarding house alone. His brow creased in concern. He had to call Daisy to tell her the change of plans. He walked back into the restaurant pulling out his cell. "Daisy, it's Grandpa Buzz. I need you to work tonight. Natalia isn't feeling well, and I need you to cover her shift. Thank you dear." He hung up the phone.

**BEACON HOTEL – OLIVIA'S SUIT**

"Hey it's me," Olivia sighed as she rubbed her forehead. "I need you to take care of Emma for longer than what I had planned. Thank you, Jane. You of course will be paid a little extra for the extra time today." After saying good bye to Jane, she put the phone back in the cradle. Her hand tapped the phone as she moved passed the table.

"Why do I always push people whom want to be my friend away?" She softly said in the stillness of the room.

"_Why do you?"_

Whipping around and staring wide eyed, "G-gus." She couldn't believe her eyes. He looked just as he did on his and Natalia's wedding day. When he had brought her back to the suit after she learned that the heart was gone from her. All due too Natalia. Anger rose once more as she thought of Natalia putting the final nail in her coffin. Saint Natalia whom locked her in a remote cabin bathroom – just to prevent her from ruining her wedding to Gus.

"_Don't go there, Olivia. Not again." Gus sighed deeply. "That's not why you called me here."_

"I didn't call you here." Olivia breathed out in anger. "Why are you here now, when I don't want you here. But, all those times that I desperately needed you – you were a no show? What were you doing up there – betting on how much damage you can do to me with God Almighty?"

"_Natalia was with you. You no longer needed me, Olivia. You were just fine." Gus smiled._

"Why are you here now then! Natalia is still with me." Olivia snorted.

"_You are kicking Natalia out! Seriously Olivia! You think that is the right thing too do?" Gus demanded in a tired voice. "What am I going to do with you?"_

"It's better this way, Gus. The sooner she realizes that it's only _your _heart that is keeping her around me. Me – Gus – the woman whom she truly hates and despises!" Olivia snarled. "Look, I know your heart is special to her. It means the world too me also," Her hand pressed against her chest, "It's the only thing that's keeping me alive."

"_Not the only thing." Gus sighed. "Why are you fighting so hard to push everyone away from you. It doesn't have to be this way, Olivia. You against the world. You need someone beside you."_

"I have Emma." Olivia said her hand lowering from her chest.

"_Until you decide that she doesn't deserve a mother like you." Gus shook his head. "That day is fast approaching, Olivia." He sighed deeply, "You asked why I came now ..."_

"I would never kick Emma from my soul." Olivia breathed sitting down in the over stuffed chair.

"_You'll think that you are just protecting her." Gus's right eye brow rose. "I'm here to tell you to stop running all ready." He went to sit in the chair across from hers. "Allow your true soul mate love to finally enter your heart and soul."_

"Your heart you mean." Olivia sadly lowered her eyes.

"_You do know why it was my time to die?" Gus asked._

"God's sick sense of humor coming to play!" Olivia's eyes lifted with fire rising with every sparkle.

"_He knew that I was in the way." Gus said leaning forward. He captured her chin in the palm of his hands. Forcing her from moving her neck. "I was in the way of true soul mate love. I was never meant for Natalia. You are."_

"You are just a fragment of my imagination." Olivia said in a toneless voice. "I just dream t your image up to tell me that it's all right to steal Natalia from you."

"_When you are ready, I'll be back." Gus slowly faded from her sight. _

Olivia shook her head and bowed it. Closing her eyes as she tried to calm her erratic heartbeat. "Just what I need. The _true_ owner of this heart; coming back to tell me what too do." Turning she walked over and sat down on the bed. "Gus, it's _your _heart that is drawing Natalia to me. That's it." She fell backwards onto the bed. "I'm fine with it. Really, I'm fine with it." She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

**COMPANY BOARDING HOUSE – NATALIA'S ROOM**

Natalia sighed as she leaned against the closed door to her small room. "Oh Olivia, what am I going to do with you?" She sighed as Olivia's image stood in front of her. "Why are you so afraid to allow me in? Every time I worm my way in – you push me out, and slam up a brick wall. But, this time I busted in – and now there is a solid steel wall in my way."

Pushing away from the door, she sighed. "I wish I could wrap my arms around you, Olivia Spencer, and simply never let go." Wrapping her arms across her chest, she walked to her dresser. She smiled sadly at the picture of her only son. "Oh Rafe, I miss you so much. Why did you have to make your life so complicated when you shot Jeffrey? Why did you run away – when you could have had such a lighter sentence if you stayed. Jeffrey wasn't going to press any charges."

Her eyes shifted from Rafe's picture. Her right hand reached out and picked up the frame where Olivia's picture was located. Lightly tracing the photo through the glass, "What am I going to do with you, Olivia Spencer? How can win against your greatest enemy, your own damn self?

"How can I prove to you that what we have is real? How can I prove to you that I will never leave you? How can I prove to you that not only Emma is …." Natalia didn't even know how to finish that sentence. With one last trace she replaced the frame on the shelf.

KNOCK KNOCK

Natalia frowned as she turned to look at the closed door. Who was that? She told Buzz she wanted to be left alone. She had a thought that if she just remained silent – than the unwanted guest would leave. But, that was childish – she had said good bye to childhood when she became pregnant at sixteen.

"Natalia?" Frank's voice called out.

Natalia's heart sank. She had secretly hoped that it was Olivia on the other side. Even through she knew that her friend _should_ be in bed resting. But hey, she was talking about Olivia Spencer here. One never knew what the emerald eyed woman would do once a thought entered her head.

"Natalia?" Frank called out again, concern evident in his voice.

With a sigh Natalia walked, and opened the door. "Hello Frank." She said knowing that her mask was firmly in place. "Hello Frank," She smiled tiredly.

"Pop said that you weren't feeling like yourself, I thought I would come up to see if you needed anything." Frank leaned against the door. "You know your favorite meal down at Company. Not that I'm asking you to come. I know you want to be alone. I meant that I can bring it up too you."

"I knew what you meant, Frank." Natalia sighed with a slight smile. "I'm not hungry right now. I actually ate with Olivia earlier."

"Oh, okay." Frank said. "This funk that you are in right now, has something to do with Olivia, doesn't it?" His voice harden and he frowned darkly. "I don't know why you let _that _woman get to you, Natalia. Olivia Spencer is a bitter woman – whom enjoys bringing every other human being down with her." Leaning harder against the door, "I'm so damn glad that my eyes were opened to the ways of _that_ woman, before it was too late."

Natalia's heat rose. _How dare he insult Olivia! How dare he trash her like this. She's not even here to fight or defend herself. How dare this man attack Olivia! _"I can't believe that you are so willing attacking a person whom is medically ill, Frank Cooper. A person whom had a _heart transplant_ never less." Her fists were clenched at her sides.

Frank knew he over stepped his bounds with Natalia. He knew that he lost major grounds in his quest to woo this woman in front of him. _Shit!_ He stood up straight, "Look Olivia is a hot subject with me is all, Natalia."

"You are in her past, Frank. Let it go." Natalia said in sudden awareness of knowing that Olivia and Frank were an item in the past.

"She willing used me, and she moved on to my father – while still dating me!" Frank growled out. The anger and fury still raging deep in his soul. "Did you know that she was fucking pop while she was fucking me!"

Natalia blinked.

"Pop _wanted _to marry Olivia. She agreed. But, she left Pop _at_ the alter." Frank's voice lowered. "I'll _never_ forgive Olivia for that. I can forgive her for using me badly. But, I can't forgive her for destroying my father's heart."

Natalia's anger calmed, it didn't go away. But she managed to put it in the place it belonged. She understood Frank's deep anger towards Olivia now. "Frank, Buzz forgive Olivia. He's okay with just being friends with her. You know that." She rested her right hand on his forearm. "In time your heart will see it – you'll be able to find the forgiveness that God has given you for Olivia."

Frank remained silent. He knew that if he said anything else – than Natalia would never be his. He allowed his temper to cool for a few moments. "I didn't come up here to upset you, Natalia. I know you want to be alone right now. But, if you want any food or something – and don't feel like leaving. Give me a call okay?"

Natalia had stepped back into the room allowing Frank to cool down. "Thanks for the offer, Frank." Her hand on the door. She waved as he turned and walked down the hallway. Closing the door and leaning her head against it, "Oh, Olivia what am I going to do with you? How can I help you make amends with the people of Springfield if you are still trying to block me out?"

**END CHAPTER ONE**


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